My Failing Marriage Story
I am a 25 year old women and my husband is 29 years old. We married 5 years ago. Before marriage he had affairs with two girls. He had even tried to marry one of the girls but his parents refused because he was aged and had 2-3 affairs before meeting me.
Anyway his parents wanted him to marry me. Finally, he agreed to his parents. I had learned this story before marriage.
I did not like it. I had no affair and wanted to have a husband like me. But for the sake of my parents I agreed to marry him.
During first ten days of our marriage, my husband was so good that I was very happy. We could not have sex because on wedding day my periods had started. Once the periods were over he tried to make normal love with me but he failed to do so. Frustratingly, he started to blame me that I didn't love him. He also alleged that I was not perfect. He also claimed that when he makes love with his girl friends, he is always O.K.
I fell in a mental stress. The situation was aggravated when I realized that he does not have any kind of feelings for me. I tried for one and half month but could not succeed to have a normal marital life.
Then days passed on and we had a baby but his behavior was still very bad with me. He went to another country and came India to take me with him. I found drastic change in his attitudes and was very happy. He was very good with me.
One day I overheard him talking to some one on phone in the bathroom and asking to meet him. I saw the number in the phone and called on to know that it was his ex girl friend. She was also married and having kids. Then I asked my husband about this issue. First he apologized then he started to hide it from me. He is still in contact with her. I told his family but he proved himself innocent.
I was helpless and I could not do any thing. He is still in the contact with her. He does not have a normal sexual life with me. If I show my interest then he comes near to me only once a month.
He cares about me. He says that he likes me. He fulfills my worldly desires but not physical ones. I tried to ignore his weaknesses. He wanted to spend his weekend nights alone. I agreed to save my marriage. Last week when I woke up I found him watching blue films on the internet.
I think this is one of the reasons that he does not have any interest in me. When Allah provides men with a wife to have sex why they don't enjoy the valid mode. When I complained him he responded that it is his personal life and I should not interfere in that.
I have ignored a number of things. But I have physical needs. Why does he not understand that he should fulfill my natural desires? My friends tell me that I am a beautiful and sexy woman.
I have strong feelings towards my husband but he is away from me. I am unable to understand why? I have sacrificed everything for him but why he is doing this to me. Is it my fault? Please I want your suggestion. Please advice me. Should I consult a psychiatrist?