Hadith Quotes on Marriage, Women and Family Life
1- The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have…
A Hadith quotes the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) that marriage is part of his way of life. He himself married for a number of times and regarded celibacy as unnatural and against the will of God.
Attributed sayings of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) are scattered in the collection books of Ahadiths. There is no guarantee that these attributions are words of the Prophet. Even authenticity of them may be questioned. As a principle we are trying to quote only those attributions which, prima facie don’t contradict main philosophy of Quran. Yet we are open for correction.
You shall also read some of the opinions expressed by different scholars, jurists and renowned Muslims.
1- Anas ibn Malik (RA) recorded the case of a man who decided that all troubles were caused by marriage, and so instead of marrying he would pass his life in prayer. When this came to the attention of the Prophet (s), he said:
“By God, I keep nafl (optional) fasts, but I also discontinue them; I pray at night, but I also sleep; I also marry women – and this is my sunna. Whoever shuns my sunna is not of me.”
( Marriage Quotations from Bukhari) 2- Abu Sa’d (RA) reported that:
“The Prophet (s) once rebuked the wife of Safwan ibn alMu’ attal for being over pious to the detriment of her marriage. She used to read two long suras during her night prayer, keeping her husband waiting; and she fasted frequently without his permission, which made her tired and prevented any opportunity for sex during the day (sexual activity being forbidden while fasting). The Blessed Prophet ruled in favour of the husband, recommending that she limit her recitation to one sura, and only fast with her husband’s permission. Similarly, when the Prophet heard that an ascetic Companion, Abdallah ibn `Amr, was in the habit of praying all night and fasting all day, he told him to moderate his devotions, pointing out that your eyes have a right over you, your guests have a right over you, and your wife has a right over you.”
( Quotes on Marriage from Bukhari)
3- “Love for women is one of the things through which God favoured His Messenger (s); for He made him love them in spite of the fact that he had few children. Hence the desired goal was nothing but the marriage act itself, like the marriage act of the people of the Garden, which is strictly for pleasure and not for producing offspring.”
( Marriage Quotes from Ibn-i-Arabi, Futuhat, 11, 193)
1 – God’s Messenger (PBUH) is reported to said:
“In the sexual act of each of you there is a sadaqa (charity).” The Companions asked: `Messenger of God! When one of us fulfils his sexual desire, will he be given a reward for that?’ And he said, `Do you not think that were he to act upon it unlawfully, he would be sinning? Likewise, if he acts upon it lawfully he will be rewarded.’
(Wedding Quotes from Muslim)
2 – According to another reported hadith:
“Three things are counted inadequacies in a man. Firstly, meeting someone he would like to get to know, and taking leave of him before learning his name and his family. Secondly, rebuffing the generosity that another shows to him. And thirdly, going to his wife and having intercourse with her before talking to her and gaining her intimacy, satisfying his need from her before she has satisfied her need from him.’
( Marriage Quotations from Daylami)
3- Sa’id ibn al-Musayyib (RA) is said to report Blessed Prophet’s opinion of a loving sexual relationship as follows:
“When a Muslim man intends to come to his wife, God writes for him 20 good deeds and erases from him 20 evil deeds. When he takes her by the hand, God writes for him 40 good deeds and erases from him 40 evil deeds. When he kisses her, God writes for him 60 good deeds and erases from him 60 evil deeds. When he comes into her, God writes for him 120 good deeds. When he stands up to make the ablution, God boasts of him to the angels and says: “Look at My servant! He stands up on a cold night to wash himself of impurity (janaba) seeking the good pleasure of his Lord. I bear witness to you that I have forgiven him his sins”.’
( Wedding Quotation from Maybudi, Tafsir 1, 610)
Please note that the writing of deeds here is just symbolic to illustrate importance of sexual act between wife and husband. It should not be taken literally.
4- The Prophet (s) is reported to say on one occasion:
“Whenever any one of you comes across some attractive woman, and his heart is inclined towards her, he should go to his wife and have sexual intercourse with her, so that he might keep himself away from evil thoughts.”
( Marriage Quotes from Muslim)
8- In another Hadith the last Prophet is reported as:
“Not one of you should fall upon his wife like an animal; but let there first be a messenger between you.’ `And what is that messenger?’ they asked, and he replied: `Kisses and words.”
( Marriage Quotes from Daylami)
9- Abu Sa’id al-Khudri (Allah he pleased with him) reported that:Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upoin him) said: “The most wicked amongst the people in the eye of Allah on the Day of judgment is the men who goes to his wife and she comes to him, and then he divulges her secret. “
( Marriage Quotes from Muslim, Book 8, Number 3369)