A Few More Funny Quotes About Marriage

• “Marriage is a wonderful invention; but, then again, so is a bicycle repair kit”. – Funny Quotes About Marriage from Geoffrey Chaucer
• “The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.” – Wedding Quotes from Peter De Vries
• “Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.” – Wedding Quotes from Voltaire
• “My fiancee and I are having a little disagreement. What I want is a big church wedding with bridesmaids and flowers and a no expense spared reception; and what he wants is to break off our engagement.” – Quotes About Marriage from Sally Poplin
• Twenty years of romance makes a woman look like a ruin; but twenty years of marriage makes her look like a public building. – Wedding Quotes from Oscar Wilde

• “A woman voting for divorce is like a turkey voting for Christmas.” – Wedding Quotes from Alice Glynn.
• “Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” – Wedding Quotes About Marriage from Henry Youngman.
• “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then it was too late.” – Max Kaufman
• “If we take matrimony at its lowest, we regard it as a sort of friendship recognized by the police.” – Robert Louis Stevenson.
• “Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.” – Oscar Wilde.
• “Dammit sir, it’s your duty to get married. You can’t be always living for pleasure.” – Oscar Wilde • “Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.” – George Burns.

• “Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.” – Ogden Nash.
• “An open marriage is nature’s way of telling you that you need a divorce.” – Ann Landers
• “The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money.” – Johnny Carson
• “We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations. We’re doing everything we can to keep our marriage together.” – Rodney Dangerfield
• “Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” – Groucho Marx.
• “The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.” – Ann Landers
• “There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn’t stand for that.” – Funny Quotes About Marriage from Steve Martin.
• “It was a mixed marriage. I’m human, he was a Klingon.” – Funny Quotes About Marriage from Carol Leifer
• “My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.” – Funny Quotes About Marriage from Jimmy Durante.
• “My wife and I had words, but I never got to use mine.” – Funny Quotes About Marriage from Fibber McGee
• “Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet.” – Funny Quotes About Marriage from Mae West

• “It was a perfect marriage. She didn’t want to and he couldn’t.” – Funny Quotes About Marriage from Spike Milligan.
• “The General was essentially a man of peace, except of course in his domestic affairs.” – Oscar Wilde.
• “Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.” – Funny Quotes About Marriage from Ambrose Bierce.
• “It’s not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She’s not marrying the best man. ” – Funny Quotes About Marriage from Anonymous
• “All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.”- Lord Byron
• “Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.” – Jim Backus”
• Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway. ” – Wedding Quotes About Marriage from Joey Adams
• “Married love between man and woman is bigger than oaths guarded by right of nature. ” – Quotes About Marriage from Aeschylus
• “Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.”- Woody Allen (Hollywood Ending, 2002)
• “A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it. “- From Anonymous

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